PARENTS AND CHILDREN: THE COURAGE TO EXPOSE THEM TO LIFE. When the glass shatters.

We are often caught up in the urge to keep our children from living through “dangerous” or “uncomfortable” experiences: to save them from something, to protect them from someone, to keep them away from certain places or environments, to prevent them from seeing, hearing, feeling… All this endless sequence of “don’ts” turns into a pane of glass through which they look at the outside world and, inevitably, their own inner world. A sterile glass that keeps viruses and bacteria away, and at the same time bulletproof, behind which we delude ourselves into thinking they are safe from every possible threat.

In this space — created with the best of intentions — our children learn to live in a comfort zone, a place where they will presumably never be exposed to the worst.

This generates a sense of safety both for them, the children, and for us, the parents.

But what happens when, inevitably, life breaks through that glass?

It happens that neither they nor we are ready to face the wind, the sun, the rain, the heat, the cold, the fog, the climbs, the descents, the smooth or slippery paths.

To prepare our children for life — and ourselves along with them — we need to remove those “don’ts” and allow them, and ourselves, to: see, try, speak, listen, understand and, above all, when they fall, to learn how to get back up.

And it is precisely this last step that holds the very essence of parenthood: a journey that becomes growth for those who educate and those who are educated.

In essence, parenthood finds its highest expression in becoming an example and a guide.

We often think that being parents means laying down rules, giving advice, meeting every possible need, and protecting from all harm. Yet in doing so, we risk failing to provide the essential tools they will need one day to walk on their own: to self-regulate, to choose for themselves, to handle joy as well as frustration and pain, to develop self-protective strategies (the care and safeguarding of oneself).

The real goal is to expose them to life, walking by their side, but above all becoming ourselves the example we hope they will follow, integrate, and embody one day not too far from now.

From this perspective, the rules of the game turn upside down: before educating our children, we are called to educate and grow ourselves.

At that point, everything becomes much simpler and more effective, because our children will witness one of the most powerful forces that can exist in any relationship: CONSISTENCY. An element resistant to time, effort, and life itself.

The most revolutionary act of parenting is not to protect them from life, but to prepare them to embrace it. What remains is not the illusion of glass that shields, but the strength of a bond that guides.

L. Monza