I Need to Get Myself Back

There are certain expressions we use so often that we no longer hear what they are really saying.

One of them is:

"I need to get myself back."

We say it after a breakup.

After a loss.

After an illness.

After burnout.

After a period of struggle that seems to have taken something from us.

"I just need to get myself back."

It sounds simple.

Ordinary.

Almost casual.

Yet hidden within those words is a profound question:

When did I lose myself?

And perhaps an even deeper one:

Which part of me got lost?

The greatest human suffering may begin at precisely that moment—the moment we become separated from ourselves.

A fracture appears within us.

A split.

An inner distance.

Part of us continues moving forward. We work, we care for others, we fulfill our responsibilities, we adapt, we survive.

But another part remains behind.

A part frozen in grief.

A part buried beneath fear.

A part silenced by disappointment.

A part hidden under years of expectations, conditioning, and self-protection.

And although life continues, something within us knows that we are no longer fully present.

We sense it.

We feel it.

We miss ourselves.

And so begins the search.

Not the search for success.

Not the search for approval.

Not the search for happiness.

The search for ourselves.

This is why the phrase "I need to get myself back" carries so much wisdom.

Because healing is not always about moving forward.

Sometimes healing is about returning.

Returning to the parts of ourselves we abandoned in order to survive.

Returning to the pieces of ourselves scattered by pain.

Returning to the truth of who we are beneath everything that happened to us.

When we look at it this way, recovery takes on an entirely different meaning.

It is not simply about feeling better.

It is about reunion.

It is about gathering the scattered fragments of ourselves and bringing them home.

Wholeness is not becoming someone new.

Wholeness is remembering who we have always been.

It is rebuilding.

Repairing.

Healing.

Reconnecting.

Reuniting.

The Latin expression restitutio ad integrum refers to complete recovery: the restoration of something to its original state.

What a beautiful image for the human journey.

Because perhaps healing is not about becoming a different person.

Perhaps healing is the gradual return to the fullness of who we truly are.

Sometimes the fracture appears in the body.

Sometimes it appears in the mind.

Sometimes it is felt in the soul.

Yet body, mind, and soul are not separate realities. They are different expressions of the same human experience.

Which leaves us with a question worth contemplating:

What if our suffering is not simply something to overcome?

What if it is a call?

A call to return.

A call to recover the parts of ourselves that have been left behind.

A call to come home.

And what if getting ourselves back is not the end of the healing journey, but its true beginning?

Whenever you are ready, I will be here to welcome you and walk beside you on that path.

Because home is not a place you must find.

Home is who you are.

With Love,

Laura Monza